Happiness is... "a happy cry"

During my goodbye party from SAMO, after my co-workers had all said a bunch of nice things to me, I wanted to say my thanks to everyone, too. So there I was, on the spot, but feeling perfectly at home in that little education room at Rancho Sierra Vista, surrounded by such wonderful people and knowing it would be impossible to tell them how much I respected them, learned so much from them and felt so lucky to have been a Ranger with them. Of course, all of the nice things they had said had made me tear up - - and once I got to talking, the tears really started to flow. Not that anyone there that knows me well was very surprised - it doesn't take much to turn the water works on. :) But, as I was ignoring the tears and trying to say something that made any sense, I was holding Elizabeth up on my hip. She was looking at everyone else around the room to begin. But, then she heard my voice crack a bit, turned to me.... and did a double take. Her eyes got wide. "Mommy???", she said, totally confused and concerned, and put a hand to my cheek. She was not used to seeing her Mommy cry - I always saved it for when she couldn't see. At this, I had to pause from what I was saying to everyone else. I said to her all that I could think of in the moment. I was honest. "Don't worry, sweetie. I am ok. It is a happy cry." And then she smiled, as if she totally understood, and then I smiled back through glistening, yet reassuring eyes - a very private moment of shared understanding (even though it was witnessed by at least 35 others!). 

So, now when I do have a little cry well up from time to time because of something that has touched my heart, I don't try to hide it. I tell Elizabeth it is a "happy cry" and we look at each other and giggle and hug.

Today I had a happy cry. It was while we were reading a book before school. Elizabeth had an accident that morning, so rather than sitting on her stripped bed, we put some blankets on the floor and read in a big fluffy heap together for about 45 minutes. She picked lots of books, but one that we read was a book that I sought out due to a recommendation from Cocoa, the HACNS preschool director. She told me about Mem Fox in one of our first conversations at the playground, so I found a book she had written called "Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge" on Amazon. It had gotten stashed with a few other books while we were unpacking and we hadn't had a chance to read it yet. Elizabeth found it and I'm glad she did. Definitely a happy cry kind of a book - right up there with "Someday", "On The Night You We Born" and most definitely "Love You Forever". If you know any of those books, you know what I mean! Happy cry every time!!